Healed by His Secret Baby Read online

  She smiled at him. He was letting her off the hook. ‘Tori wouldn’t eat her dinner, and that was the final straw that brought my house of cards toppling down.’

  ‘You’re mixing metaphors, but I think I know what you’re trying to say. Have you got a banana?’

  A banana? What did that have to do with anything?

  ‘Er...yes. Over there—above the fruit bowl.’ She had a small hook there, that she could hang bananas from.

  ‘My mum used to tell me that whenever I wouldn’t eat my dinner I would get a banana instead, so that I didn’t wake up hungry in the night.’

  She smiled, imagining him as a small boy. ‘But Tori doesn’t want to eat anything.’

  ‘Have you tried it?’

  ‘Well, no, but—’

  He peeled the banana, broke it in half and handed it to Tori, who grasped it with utter joy and mashed it straight into her mouth.

  Lane shook her head in disbelief. ‘You’ve got to be kidding me.’

  ‘Sometimes babies pick up on stress, too. Perhaps she could sense your...unhappiness?’

  He was broaching a subject she wasn’t happy about him approaching. ‘Maybe.’

  ‘Want to talk about it? I’m a good listener.’

  ‘I’m not sure you’re the best person to tell.’

  ‘Well, who would you normally talk to about this?’

  She sighed. ‘Skye.’

  ‘But she’s not here.’

  No, and he didn’t need to remind her about that. Just the thought made tears prick the backs of her eyes again. It had been such a difficult year. Skye’s cancer, Simon’s ultimatum, all the loss, then taking on Tori and finding Cole.

  Kissing him.

  Being rejected by him.

  Feeling used.

  Should he be the one she spoke to about this?

  ‘I’ve lost people, too,’ he said. ‘Lost what I never expected to lose. My heart. My wife. My unborn child. And then I learned that I’d lost the first few months of Tori’s life. Lost the chance of getting to know her mother.’

  She swallowed hard. ‘You can’t miss Skye?’

  ‘I feel cheated of the chance to get to know who she truly was. She was the mother of my child and I feel I should have known her better. Should have supported her as she went through something so terrifying. As a doctor, I could have helped.’

  ‘Her doctors couldn’t do anything. It was too far progressed.’

  ‘I know. But I would have liked the opportunity to meet Skye—to look into her eyes and let her know that I would help look after our daughter in the way she would have wanted. Help give her the best life.’

  A tear slipped down her cheek and she hurriedly wiped it away. No more tears. Not tonight.

  Could Cole give Tori a better life than what Lane could offer? ‘Skye would have appreciated that.’

  ‘I guess instead I can tell you.’

  He was staring at her. Deep into her eyes. And she couldn’t look away. It was intense. Intimate. Daring.

  ‘I’m no fly-by-night, Lane. I’m dedicated. All my life I’ve wanted two things—to be a doctor and to be a father. This is my second chance; I’m not losing it.’

  She stared back. ‘But what if we ruin it?’

  He frowned. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I love Tori and she’s all I have left of Skye, and...’ She couldn’t finish the sentence. Couldn’t say the words that had just formed properly for the first time in her mind. She was too busy analysing them herself. Thinking of what they meant.

  ‘And...?’ He leaned forward.

  On the floor between them Tori had finished the banana—except for a few mashed bits around her fingers and thumb. These she ignored, so that she could play with her bricks.

  ‘And... I love her. Like she’s my own.’ She couldn’t voice her true fears.

  He pressed his hand over hers on the table. ‘We both do.’

  She pulled her hand free and got up from the table. ‘But you’re her real father. Her real parent. Shouldn’t she be with you? I’ll never have the connection with her that you do.’

  He stood. ‘You will always be part of her life, Lane.’

  She turned, feeling a fire in her belly. ‘I’ve been her everything! I’ve been her mother these last few months, I was the one who stepped up, I was the one who sacrificed my life! And for what? To feel like this? Like I’m nothing, compared to you? If we shared her, how would that work?’

  ‘We’ll find a way.’

  She raised a disbelieving eyebrow. ‘Tori needs to have her bath now,’ she said.

  He sighed, clearly realising they weren’t going to settle anything. ‘Let me do it.’

  ‘You don’t know how she likes it.’

  ‘Then I’ll learn. Show me.’

  So she did. She told him how deep the water needed to be. The right temperature and how to test it properly. Which toys Tori liked best in the bath. Her favourite flannel with the clown faces on it. How much bubble bath to use.

  And he did it. He bathed her. Played with her.

  Lane looked on from the doorway, acknowledging to herself that this was what it was going to feel like as Cole took on more.

  If she allowed it. It was an uncomfortable feeling.

  ‘I’m just going to tidy up downstairs,’ she said as Cole was drying Tori off and putting on her pyjamas. ‘I’ll get her last bottle ready.’

  She went downstairs and picked up Tori’s toys, her teddies, her blocks, putting them all away in a box behind the sofa. With everything away, she tried to tell herself that this was what her future would look like when Cole took on more responsibility. Empty and alone. Simon warned her not to do this. To take on a child that wasn’t hers.

  It was too much—too depressing to think about.

  She turned and went back into the kitchen, making up Tori’s bottle. It was time for her to go to bed. She guessed he’d want to do that, too. Learn her routines.

  Stupidly, she’d never thought this would happen! She’d been so convinced that when she tracked him down she’d find some sleazeball who would dismiss Tori and walk away. But of course he’d not been like that, had he? He was kind and considerate and caring. He was a good doctor. A good friend. She had no doubt that he would be a good father, too.

  As her legal guardian, she would always be a part of Tori’s life, but what would she actually be? An outsider? A pretender? Someone who Tori came to view as a nuisance, because she wanted to spend time with her biological parent?

  Slowly, with heavy feet, she climbed the stairs. At the top he waited for her, with Tori in his arms, babbling happily. A father with his daughter—as it should be. She should be happy for him. But she knew his happiness could cause her sorrow.

  ‘Can I put her to bed?’

  She passed him the bottle. ‘Sure. I normally read to her as she drinks her milk.’

  ‘Okay. Does she have a favourite story?’

  ‘I’ll show you.’ She led him into Tori’s room and passed over the book, watching as he lay Tori down with her bottle. Then she stood in the doorway and listened to him as he read the story, doing all the right funny voices and gently closing the book at the end when he realised that Tori was fast asleep.

  They both crept out of her room and he half closed the door behind them. ‘She must have been tired,’ he said.

  ‘She’s very good at going to bed. I’ve never had any trouble with her.’

  ‘It’s because you look after her so well. She’s a credit to you.’

  She nodded, accepting the compliment. ‘Thank you. I’m sure you’ll find your way with her routines...’

  There was a pause and she looked up at him, hopelessly. Closing her eyes in desperation and shaking her head at the unspeakable. Knowing he would understand that she simply had no more words for the
pain in her heart and the fear she felt at the possibility of sharing Tori.

  ‘I’m sorry I upset you on your birthday,’ he said suddenly. ‘At the fair. With the kiss. I didn’t mean to imply it was a mistake. I just got scared, that’s all.’

  Her heart began to pound in her chest. ‘I was scared, too.’

  ‘So much has gone before and... I just didn’t want to get into a situation where I let you down. Where I failed you. Us getting involved would be...’

  She barely heard his words. Standing there so close, staring deeply into his eyes, she could feel herself edging closer and closer, her hands upon his chest...

  And then they were kissing!

  It was as if neither of them could help it. They were drawn together. Pulled together. Magnetic. Each needing the other. She could feel him beneath her hands, the strong beat of his heart, the solid muscles beneath his skin, the taste of him in her mouth—it was all she could do to remember how to breathe!

  She wanted to absorb every ounce of him, feel every inch of him...

  Her hands pulled at his shirt, tucked into his trousers, and searched beneath for his hot skin, the taut muscles of his belly, his chest, his back.

  She needed his hands on her.

  She broke the kiss. ‘Come with me.’

  She pulled him towards her bedroom, reaching for his shirt buttons the second they got inside.

  He pulled her top over her head and his lips found her neck, her throat, and she gasped at the feel of his mouth upon her, the slick swipe of his tongue, the quick nip of his teeth. Pleasure and pain...each as intense as the sensation before it.

  She could feel his arousal pressed against her and she revelled in it. Wanted it. Needed it. Forget everything else—that didn’t matter right now. No matter what, she was drawn to him. As if she couldn’t stay away. Even when she’d tried to create a barrier between them it had caused her pain and a depression like no other. It was as if she couldn’t breathe without him.

  They fell onto the bed with her reaching for the buckle of his belt. Did she have a condom anywhere? In her bedroom drawer? She thought there might be one. When she’d lived with Simon she’d always kept a supply in there.

  She reached for the drawer. Yanked it open and blindly searched for something that felt like a condom packet. She pulled something out but it was a box of paracetamol. She threw it to the floor and reached in again. Cole was laughing, and this time she was successful.

  Biting her lip with joy, she passed it to him and kissed him passionately. ‘No surprise pregnancies this time,’ she said.

  He smiled and kissed her once again. ‘Agreed.’

  * * *

  He woke to the sun peeping in through the curtains and a naked Lane spooning against him. She fitted perfectly, and he closed his eyes briefly as he relished the sensation of holding someone he—

  Holding someone he what?

  If it had been a mistake to kiss her, because it had made him scared, then what would this do to him?

  But he was loath to break the contact. She felt so right in his arms, and last night had been...wonderful. He’d lost himself in this woman and it had felt so good. How could something that felt so right be a mistake? It couldn’t, could it? Perhaps if they just took it slowly...?

  Since he’d dropped her off after her birthday he’d felt awful about the way they’d parted. And then, at work, he’d not even been able to talk to her. To converse with her even about patients. It had been one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do—and he’d been through some tough things in his life, so that was saying something!

  He’d never shut anyone out like that before. Not if he cared for them. If he had feelings for them. And why wouldn’t he have feelings for Lane? She was a beautiful, intelligent woman and she was keeping his daughter safe and loved. If anything, she deserved his utmost respect, and he had treated her like a stranger.

  At least they had moved past that now. But would she have doubts when she woke? Would she ask him to leave? Would she think he had slept with her to strengthen his connection to Tori?

  He lifted his head to look at the clock. Nearly seven a.m. They’d have to get up for work soon. He’d like a shower if he could.

  Lane moved slightly as she stirred against him and his thoughts instantly went to whether she’d want to share that shower with him. His hunger for her was not sated. He craved more.

  He nuzzled into the back of her neck. ‘Morning, sleepyhead.’

  She stretched like a cat and then turned to kiss him. ‘Good morning.’

  ‘How long do we have?’ he asked, thinking of the entirely different breakfast he could have this morning!

  Lane glanced at the time. ‘Not long enough. I bet she’s already awake.’

  ‘I’ll go and get her.’

  ‘She’ll need a change of nappy.’

  ‘Okay.’ He kissed her on the tip of her nose and smiled at her. ‘Are you okay? After last night?’

  She nodded. ‘More than okay. Are you?’

  ‘I’m good.’

  He gave her one last kiss and then threw back the covers and grabbed his boxers, pulling them on.

  ‘Will you get her breakfast ready?’

  ‘Yep. Do you want anything?’

  ‘Whatever you’re having is fine by me.’

  She smiled. ‘Jammy toast?’

  ‘Sounds perfect.’

  He went to get Tori and found Lane had been right. She was awake and gurgling away at her bunny in the corner of her cot.

  Was this what it would be like to have a family? It felt right. But what if they were pushing things by making a giant leap like this? Yesterday they’d barely been talking and now... There was no going back now, was there?

  But I feel happy right now. Why would I want to go back?

  Because the last time you were happy it ended in tragedy.

  He changed his daughter’s nappy and carried her downstairs. His heart melted when she lay her head against his chest. She was such a loving little girl, with no idea yet of her sad history. Lane was doing a wonderful job, raising this little girl to be happy and bright despite how she must be feeling in dealing with the grief of her best friend’s passing.

  The smell of coffee and toast made his stomach rumble and he slid Tori into her highchair. Lane had already placed there some dry cereal, fruit and toasted soldiers, along with a bottle of milk.

  ‘Can I help?’

  She smiled at him and he loved the way she looked in the morning. Ruffled and sleepy and content.

  ‘Everything’s under control,’ she said.

  He poured some milk into his coffee and took a sip. Perfect! ‘I have to leave soon.’

  She turned at the counter, looking concerned. ‘Oh? Why?’

  ‘I can’t turn up to work in the same clothes I left in. Mary would spot that a mile off.’

  Lane relaxed a little. ‘Okay.’

  ‘I really enjoyed last night,’ he told her.

  ‘Me too.’

  ‘Good. But we’re going to have to be careful at work.’

  She sat down at the table next to him, biting into a slice of toast. ‘In case people notice that we’re friends again?’

  He reached for her hand. ‘I think we might be more than that now.’

  She smiled. ‘Maybe...’

  ‘And if Mary can spot that we’re not talking to each other, she’ll certainly spot that I’m looking at you in a different way.’

  ‘In what way?’

  ‘A way that says I’ve seen you naked and I’d like to see you that way again.’ He grinned.

  Lane covered Tori’s ears and laughed. ‘Shh... Not in front of the baby!’

  CHAPTER NINE

  LANE WAS IN a cheery mood when she dropped Tori off at her mother’s house—so much so that her mum even commented
on it. She tried to tell her that she’d just had a really good night’s sleep, but she could tell her mum wasn’t fooled. She would have to be much better at hiding her feelings when she got to work?

  The sun was shining over Liberty Point Surgery when she arrived, and she spotted Cole’s car already in the car park. She parked next to it and headed into work with a bright smile in place.

  ‘Morning, everyone! Morning, Mary.’ And there he was. ‘Good morning, Dr Branagh!’ she added as she passed him in the small kitchenette to get to the kettle.

  ‘Good morning, Lane. How are you today?’

  She smiled back. ‘Very well, thank you. You?’

  ‘I’m good!’ he said, and headed off to his room.

  And Lane smiled like the cat that had got the cream.

  Mary came in, looking at her carefully. ‘Okay, what’s going on?’

  She tried to look innocent. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘You could barely look at each other yesterday and today you’re all smiles like...’ Mary paused as a thought struck her. ‘Are you and he...courting?’

  ‘Us?’

  Mary grinned. ‘I knew it! I knew it the second I saw you walking in here like everything’s wonderful, sunshine and roses—and he hasn’t shaved either!’

  Lane tried to look puzzled and not to blush. ‘I don’t get you. What’s him not shaving got to do with anything?’

  ‘Well, clearly he had enough time to go home and get changed, but not enough time to have a shave. Dr Branagh has never—not once—turned up to work with anything less than a clean shave, and he has a twinkle in his eye and a spring in his step that I haven’t seen since...’ Her eyes darkened. ‘Well, since Andrea...’

  At the mention of Cole’s dead wife the smile left Lane’s face. ‘You mustn’t tell anyone, Mary. It’s complicated.’

  ‘Oh, lovey, it’s always complicated. That’s the nature of love.’

  ‘Well, I don’t know if we’re there yet.’

  Mary grabbed her mug from the kitchenette cupboard and grinned. ‘I do.’

  ‘You’re hopeless! A hopeless romantic!’

  ‘Well, in my day romance meant something. These days it’s all sex and lust. Not that there’s anything wrong with that—but in my experience it doesn’t last. Love does.’