A Father This Christmas? Read online

  Not that there’d been anyone to challenge it, really.

  Eva mumbled her way through the details of the filing system and how to operate the computer patient files, work through any glitches on the system, then asked him if he’d like to take on his first patient.

  He cocked his head as he looked at her, trying to get her to make eye contact. ‘You okay? I mean, I hope our having to work together isn’t going to be uncomfortable?’

  No, I’m not okay. You’re back! You’re back, and I had no warning. No time to prepare. And I have something momentous to tell you. And it will change your life. And I’m so aware of that and—

  ‘I’m fine. It’s...just been a difficult morning.’

  He nodded in understanding. ‘Anything I can help with?’

  ‘No.’

  He raised his eyebrow in such a perfect arch it was all she could do not to race into his arms there and then.

  ‘Are you sure?’

  How are you with kids? Do you even like children? Because I have some news for you...

  Eva sighed and shook her head.

  No, she wasn’t sure.

  She wasn’t sure at all.

  How to tell him that he was father to a beautiful, bright, funny, gorgeous three-year-old boy, who obsessed over lions and tigers and looked exactly like him?

  She swallowed a lump in her throat as fear overturned her stomach. Nausea unsettled her. A close sweat beaded her brow as guilt and shame overflowed from the box where she normally kept all those feelings tightly locked away.

  What was she to do?

  * * *

  Eva slammed a patient file down hard on the doctors’ desk, the slap of cardboard on table echoing around the department, then sank heavily into a chair. Her fingertips punched into the keyboard as she began to write up some notes. She had no time. They were already running behind. Patients were filling up the waiting area and two were about to breach the four-hour limit.

  Patients who had turned up because there were no district nurses to unblock catheters. Patients who were filling the corridors because there were no beds to put them in. Patients who were turning up just because they didn’t want to be alone at home and they needed someone to talk to just a couple of weeks before Christmas.

  The need to immerse herself in work and forget about the new doctor was overwhelming.

  If she absorbed herself in work it wouldn’t give her any time to think about him.

  The guy who’d turned her neat little world around in just one night.

  Even now she told herself she still didn’t know what had happened that night. How had he managed to put her under his spell? She knew it had been a difficult and long day at work. She’d almost not gone to that stupid party. But it had been Christmas Eve, and she’d put herself down to work on Christmas Day, and the need to celebrate the season, despite not having any family of her own, had made her go. Just to have a drink or two with friends. Chill out for a moment.

  And she’d done that. Had actually been enjoying herself for a brief time when she’d noticed him across the room.

  Those eyes. Those piercing blue eyes. But she had noticed something in his gaze. A loss—a grief so deep it had called to her.

  She’d recognised emotional pain. And, having been in a similar place herself, she’d hoped she could soothe him. No one had ever helped her. But maybe she could help him? Just for a moment, if nothing else.

  Then, when he’d noticed her, something had happened. Something weird and dreamlike. As if the rest of the world had melted away and it had been just the two of them, standing in front of each other. Close. Almost touching. He’d said his name and then she’d been in his arms. Dancing with him. Swaying with him. Their bodies mirroring the other, blending together, matching the other.

  Melting into one.

  There’d been something magical that night.

  And it seemed he was still magical now!

  How involved would he want to be with his child? He might not even care! He might not want anything to do with them! Perhaps he’d be the type of guy who only paid child support. She wouldn’t hate him for that. She’d be disappointed, but in fact she quite liked the idea that she wouldn’t have to share Seb. She enjoyed it being just the two of them. It had always just been the two of them. She’d never had to share him.

  Jacob could be in a relationship already with someone else. A man who looked the way he did? Of course he would be! A man like him wouldn’t be single. If she’d ever entertained any grand idea that they would somehow end up together...

  Her hand holding the pen trembled. She put it down for a moment and just sat for a second or two to pause and gather herself, to take in a deep breath and steady her jangled nerves. She could feel her heart slowing, could breathe more easily. Could act the professional doctor she believed herself to be.

  Picking up her patient notes, she strode off to Minors.

  * * *

  Leo Rosetti had been brought in by his wife, Sonja. His knee hurt, and despite his taking painkillers at home nothing would touch it.

  Eva entered the cubicle smiling, and closed the curtain behind her. ‘Good morning, Mr Rosetti. I’m Eva, one of the doctors here in A&E. Can you tell me what’s happened this morning to bring you in?’

  There. That was better, she thought. Focus on the patients. Not on the fact that a certain someone had re-entered her life and turned it upside down and inside out.

  ‘Well, Doctor, I’ve got this terrible pain here.’ He leaned forward on the bed and rubbed at his left knee through his trousers. ‘It’s awful, I tell you. Really hurts.’

  ‘And how long has it been like this?’

  ‘Since the beginning of December now, and I really don’t feel well in myself, either. It’s not good for a person to live with pain day after day.’

  No. It wasn’t. Especially the emotional kind.

  ‘He’s diabetic, Doctor,’ the wife interjected. ‘And he’s got osteoarthritis in both his knees. Had it for years. But he says this is different.’

  Eva asked if he could roll up his trouser leg and she examined the grossly swollen knee. ‘Are you on any meds, Mr Rosetti?’

  ‘Leo, Doctor, please. I’m on metformin for the diabetes.’

  She gave him a general check and then carried out a primary survey, asking questions about his general state of health, taking his BP and arranging for a full blood count and an X-ray, even though Leo said he hadn’t knocked or damaged the knee as far as he knew.

  ‘Will he be all right, Doctor? We’re going away this weekend.’

  ‘Oh, yes? Anywhere nice?’

  ‘Africa—well, Kenya specifically. We’re going on safari. Thought we’d do something different for Christmas, now that the kids have flown the nest.’

  Africa. What was it with Africa?

  She coloured as she thought of Jacob and what it had been like to see him again. That intense look in his eyes. Still with the power to make her go all weak at the knees as it once had.

  Feeling guilty at having let her mind wander whilst she was with a patient, she smiled quickly. ‘I’ll be back in a moment to do the bloods.’

  She pulled the curtain across and exhaled quietly and slowly, closing her eyes as she tried to gather her thoughts, her hand still clutching the curtain.

  Seriously—what was going on here? Why was she allowing herself to get so worked up?

  So Jacob was here? Big deal! He was just a guy. Just a...

  I need to pull myself together!

  This was not like her! She was normally an organised person. Efficient. She didn’t get distracted at work! There was too much at stake to let personal feelings get in the way whilst she was there.

  A distracted doctor was a dangerous doctor.

  She hurried back to
her seat to write up her notes, managing a weak smile as Sarah settled next to her.

  ‘You okay?’

  ‘Sure!’ She tried to answer cheerily. ‘Just...you know...busy.’

  ‘Really? You seem a bit flushed about that new guy. Anything I can do?’

  ‘Short of growing another pair of arms? Seriously, I could really do without having to babysit a new doctor—’

  ‘So how do you know him?’

  Her cheeks burned hot. ‘I don’t—not really. We only met once before.’

  ‘Come on! He knew your name! You know him. How come?’

  Eva stared hard at her friend, afraid to give the answer. Afraid to voice the thing that mattered the most to her in the whole world.

  Because he’s Seb’s father.

  She muttered something unintelligible and hurried away.

  * * *

  Her patient, Leo, had his bloods done and sent off, and also an X-ray that showed osteoarthritic changes and some mild widening in the joint space of his knee. The blood cultures wouldn’t be available for three days, but his Hb levels were normal.

  As the knee itself was hot and swollen, she felt it was wise to do a fine needle aspiration to draw off some of the fluid for testing. As she did so she noted that the fluid was quite cloudy, and she marked the tests to check for white blood cell count with differential, gram stain and culture.

  She suspected a septic arthritis, and knew the joint would probably have to be drained until dry, as often as was necessary.

  ‘It shouldn’t affect your holiday as it’s important you keep moving, Leo.’

  Mr Rosetti and his wife smiled at each other, and she was about to leave them alone and send the aspirated fluid to Pathology, when Jacob pulled open the curtain and asked if he could have a quick word.

  Excusing herself from her patient, she stepped outside of the cubicle with him, feeling her heart race once again. What did he want? Had he found out about Seb?

  Her brain quickly tried to formulate an answer about that. ‘Look, I meant to—’

  ‘There’s been a road accident. We’ve been phoned to let us know that a number of child casualties are coming our way.’

  Children? Eva’s heart sank. She could only hope that the children about to come into the department would have simple minor injuries.

  They began a hurried walk to Resus. Eva’s mind was focused firmly on the news. ‘Any idea of the number of casualties?’

  ‘Not at this stage. But it was a school minibus carrying a number of children across town. The police suspect they hit some black ice.’

  Her heart thumped hard. She knew Seb’s school had been attending a Christmas church service today.

  ‘What age range?’

  ‘We don’t have any more details yet.’

  It couldn’t be Seb’s school, Eva thought. Someone would have phoned her already.

  ‘Has anyone let Paeds know?’

  He nodded. ‘I did. They’re sending a team down as soon as they’ve got people to spare.’

  ‘There’s no one free now?’

  What was she doing? She shouldn’t raise her voice at him. It wasn’t his fault, was it?

  They burst through into Resus.

  ‘What’s the ETA?’

  A nurse put down the phone. ‘Seven minutes.’

  ‘Let’s get organised. Check equipment trolleys, monitors, sterile packs, gauze—everything and anything. We’ve an unknown number of paediatric casualties coming in and I want this to run smoothly. Let’s prepare for crush injuries, possible fractures, whiplash and maybe burns. Have we ordered blood?’

  Sarah and another doctor, Brandon, arrived in Resus.

  ‘We’re on it.’

  She nodded at both of them. ‘I’ll lead team one—Sarah, you can be team two... Brandon three.’

  ‘Where do you want me?’ asked Jacob.

  Ideally as far away from me as possible.

  ‘Work with Brandon.’

  ‘Okay.’

  He wrapped a plastic apron around himself and grabbed for gloves before glancing at the clock, walking away to join Brandon.

  She watched him go, knowing that at some point she was going to have to tell him the truth.

  Just not now.

  Six minutes to go.

  Eva pulled on her own apron and donned gloves, her heart pounding, her pulse thrumming like a well-oiled racing car.

  Five minutes.

  All eyes were on the clock.

  Watching it tick down.

  CHAPTER TWO

  AMBULANCE SIRENS GREW louder and closer as the staff waited, tense and raring to go. These were the moments that Eva both loved and hated.

  Loved because of the way Resus went quiet as they all waited, pensive, with adrenaline urging their muscles to get moving.

  Hated because she never quite knew what horrors she might yet encounter.

  Still the paediatric team had not arrived.

  Outside, there was the sound of rumbling engines and then the distant beeping sound of a reversing vehicle. Hospital doors slid open as the first patient came in.

  Eva spotted a small dark-haired child, wearing a neck brace and on a backboard, and heard the paramedic firing off details about the patient.

  ‘This is Ariana, aged three. Ariana was restrained by a seat belt but endured a side impact of about thirty miles an hour. Head to toe: small abrasion on the forehead, complaining of neck pain, score of eight, bruising across the chest and middle, due to the seat belt, lower back and pelvis pain, which is secured with a splint, GCS of fifteen throughout, BP and pulse normal.’

  Ariana? Didn’t her son Seb know a girl in his nursery school called Ariana?

  Eva tried not to panic. She had to focus on the little girl in her care. Surely the school would have rung her if anything had happened to Seb? Although her phone was turned off, of course, and in her locker. She’d run and check as soon as she got the chance. Ariana was her priority right now.

  ‘Ariana? My name’s Eva. I’m one of the doctors here and I’m going to look after you.’

  The way you dealt with any patient was important, but when it came to dealing with children—children who didn’t yet have their parents there to advocate for them—Eva felt it was doubly important. You had to let them know it was okay to be scared, but that they would be looked after very well and that the staff would do their utmost to get the child’s parents there as quickly as possible.

  Ariana looked terrified. She had a bad graze on her forehead, probably from smashed glass, and her eyes were wide and tearful. Her bottom lip was trembling and it was obvious she was trying not to cry.

  Eva’s heart went out to her. How terrifying it must be to be that small, alone and hurt, in a strange place that smelled funny and sounded funny, surrounded by strangers who all wanted to poke you and prod at you and stick you with needles, saying they’d make you feel better.

  ‘We need to check you’re okay, Ariana. What a pretty name! Now, I’m just going to use this—’ she held up her stethoscope ‘—to listen to your chest. Is that all right?’ Eva always made sure her paediatric patients understood what she was doing.

  Ariana tried to nod, but her head’s movement was restricted by the neck immobiliser. ‘Ow! It hurts!’

  ‘Which bit hurts, honey?’

  ‘My neck.’

  ‘Okay, I’ll check that out for you in just a moment.’

  Ariana’s chest sounded clear, which was a good sign. However, neck pain was not. It could simply be whiplash, but with neck pain you never took a chance.

  ‘We’ll need to take a couple of special pictures. But don’t you worry—they won’t hurt. It’s just a big camera.’

  She looked up at the team she was worki
ng with, awaiting their feedback. One was checking the patient’s airway, another was checking her breathing, another Ariana’s circulation. One would get IV access for the admission of drugs or painkillers or blood, if it was needed. Each doctor or nurse was calling out a result or observation. They all worked as a highly efficient team so that patients were quickly and perfectly assessed as soon as they arrived in Resus.

  Ariana was looking good at the moment. With the exception of the neck pain and the pelvic brace she was doing well, and she was responsive, which was very important. Her blood pressure was stable, so hopefully that meant no internal bleeding at all for them to worry about.

  Behind her, Eva heard the Resus doors bang open once again as another patient arrived from the accident. She risked a quick glance to see who had come in. She knew Sarah or Brandon would take care of the new patient and she could focus all her attention on Ariana.

  ‘Have the parents been called?’

  One of the nurses replied, ‘We believe the school are trying to contact parents now.’

  ‘Good. Did you hear that, Ariana? We’re going to find your mummy and daddy.’

  She couldn’t imagine what it must be like to get that call, being a mother herself. Luckily, so far, Seb hadn’t been involved in anything serious like that. The only time she’d ever been woken by a phone call was when he’d gone for a sleepover at a friend’s house and the mother had rung at about eleven o’clock at night to say that Seb couldn’t get to sleep without his cuddly lion.

  Nothing like this, thank goodness.

  But having Ariana in front of her was making her doubtful. This sweet little girl looked familiar, and she felt so sure that Seb had a girl in his nursery class called Ariana...

  If it was the same preschool as Seb... If he’d been hurt...

  Her stomach did a crazy tumble.

  She glanced across at the other teams. Sarah was busy assessing a patient and Brandon and Jacob were looking after their own little charge.

  She turned back to Ariana, who was now holding her hand, and showed her the Wong-Baker FACES pain-rating scale—a series of cartoon faces that helped really young children scale their pain.