Risking Her Heart on the Trauma Doc Read online

  But he wished his brain would tell his stomach to calm down. It was churning with nerves, and his mouth was dry, and he felt apprehensive about spending time with her.

  Come on, mate. You’re hardly going to start a relationship with her, are you? Calm the hell down!

  He presented her with her drink and she sat opposite him on the blue sofa, her hands cradling the mug, her large brown eyes looking at him with gratitude.

  ‘This is perfect. Thanks.’

  ‘No problem.’

  Inwardly he wondered if she realised what kind of effect she was having on him. With those big brown eyes behind her glasses, her shoulder-length wavy hair with its golden highlights, her wide smile... She wore a wedding ring on a chain around her neck. A big ring. A man’s? Her father’s?

  ‘You...er...you mentioned that your father had died. Do you have any other family?’

  Family was important to Adam. It was what had kept him going when he was abroad, knowing that they were back home, rooting for him. He’d frequently video called them when he’d had the chance and it had always felt good to know that he had a soft place to fall. He hoped she had something similar.

  ‘No. Nobody. My mother died when I was really young. I don’t even remember her, to be honest—though I do have photos. I don’t have any siblings.’

  ‘Only child?’

  She sipped her tea and nodded.

  ‘Me, too,’ he said. ‘No aunts or uncles?’

  ‘Yes. An aunt—my father’s sister. But she lives in Vancouver. I’ve never met her, and she didn’t come over for the funeral. They weren’t all that close, apparently.’

  ‘So you’re making it in the world all on your own?’

  Jess smiled. ‘I am.’

  ‘And you decided Thorney Island was the place to do that?’

  She tilted her head to one side. ‘Yes. I have so many fond memories of Thorney...it made perfect sense for me to come back here. It’s where I feel closest to my father.’

  He heard a wobble in her voice and realised her father’s loss still hurt. But of course it would. She was alone in the world and making her own way. Who was he to judge how she chose to do that?

  ‘Adam, I... I didn’t mean to be nosy earlier, asking about your leg. I hope you don’t think I was being rude. It kind of popped out, and I want to apologise if I stuck my nose in where it wasn’t wanted. I do that... Open my mouth before engaging my brain. Call it my super-power.’

  She was babbling, trying to make a joke of it, and he marvelled at her optimism. Even though she’d been through some dark times and was now alone, she wasn’t letting it hold her back or colour the way she viewed the world. She seemed determined to be bright and upbeat and perky.

  Perhaps he could learn something from that...

  He looked at her. ‘I wasn’t offended. It’s just a long story and I try not to think about it.’

  ‘Of course. And you’re being very gracious. Thank God you’re not one of those evil bosses who lays huge piles of work upon new doctors and consigns them to doing nothing but rectal exams all week!’

  She laughed, then looked nervous again, and he couldn’t help but laugh, too.

  ‘You never know... I just might.’ He smiled back, to show it was just a joke, and for a brief moment he forgot that he was meant to be keeping her at a distance. Forgot that he’d decided to try and have as little interaction with her as possible because of the threat she presented to his emotions.

  She brightened up the room and he was enjoying her company. It was a long time since he’d felt that...

  But as soon as he realised what was happening he immediately began to bring the shutters back down. He looked down at his drink, suddenly unable to look at her, as if looking at her would somehow make him fall to his doom, or something.

  She must have realised he was struggling with something, because she said, ‘You’ve had a long shift. You must be tired, and now you’re saddled with me. I’m sorry.’

  He gave a small nod. He was tired. But not physically. It was emotionally. And she was just so bright and peppy! As if she was full of energy and keen to do something—to contribute, to help out.

  How many hours had he worked this shift? He couldn’t remember. It was often like this. Sometimes he just kept going for hours and hours, and often the days blended into one long shift.

  ‘When did you last eat?’ she asked, ‘You should try and keep your energy up.’

  When had he last eaten? He couldn’t remember. He had some vague memory of cold pizza?

  ‘Your father left me some paperwork to fill in. It’ll take me an hour or two, I should think. Why don’t you grab a bite to eat and take a power nap while I do it? I promise I won’t deal with any patients without you.’

  That did sound good. He was grateful to her. But why was she so nice?

  ‘You wouldn’t mind?’

  ‘Course not! Point me in the direction of the hospital cafeteria and I’ll bring you back a snack.’

  He gave her directions, and a note from his wallet, but by the time she came bounding back to the staff room, armed with a banana, a yoghurt and a chicken salad sandwich he was fast asleep on the sofa, completely ignorant of the way she gently and carefully draped a crocheted blanket over him and stood looking at him, a gentle smile upon her face.

  CHAPTER THREE

  WHEN ADAM WOKE, he located Jess coming out of the administration offices, clipping her ID card to a lanyard, and told her he’d give her a full tour of Thorney Island cottage hospital. He’d found the food she’d brought him, laid on the coffee table next to him and, feeling ravenous, he’d devoured it in seconds. Now, rejuvenated by the food and the nap, he was raring to go.

  They were walking down the long corridor towards the X-ray department when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket with a message. He pulled it out and checked the screen.

  Come to dinner tonight. Bring Jess. Mum xxx

  He smiled, shaking his head. His mother never stopped trying to set him up.

  ‘Something important?’ Jess asked.

  He laughed. ‘No. It was my mother, inviting you to a family dinner tonight. But of course you don’t have to accept. I’m sure you have lots to do and—’

  ‘I’d love to come to dinner. Your parents have been so kind to me, helping me out with everything, it’d be rude to refuse.’

  ‘Right.’

  ‘Unless it’s a problem for you?’

  ‘No, no, not at all!’

  He found himself scrabbling to explain that it didn’t matter one iota to him whether or not she came to dinner with his family tonight, but found he couldn’t find words at all. Because it did matter. It mattered hugely.

  He was trying to keep his interactions with Jess at a minimum, but so far he was failing miserably at the task. He could just imagine what his mother would be like tonight. Making hints. Suggesting he take Jess out and about around the island to show her the sights.

  Well, he didn’t have to do that, did he? She’d come here as a child. He felt absolutely sure she knew most of them already. Besides, she’d want to settle into her new flat—which was in his building, he reminded himself. He’d given his landlord’s details to his dad for the new doctor, never expecting for one moment the new doctor would be a woman like Jess.

  ‘No problem at all.’ Even to himself, he sounded a little curt. ‘I’ll text her back and let her know you’re coming.’

  ‘Great! I’ll look forward to it. I can drive us both home afterwards, can’t I? Your mum said we live in the same building.’

  Ah. He didn’t normally go in cars unless he couldn’t help it. He walked, or took buses, or cycled. It only took ten minutes of fast cycling to get from one end of the island to the other.

  ‘You don’t have to do that.’

  ‘I’m hardly going to let you walk home!’ r />
  He grimaced a smile. ‘Thanks,’ he said, and texted his mother his reply.

  Jessica Young was living in the flat above him. How crazy was that? He didn’t know how to feel about that right now—and the more he thought about it, worried pretty much summed it up.

  He continued to walk towards the X-ray department, knowing she was following as he pointed out the waiting area and the protocols they used. But his brain was going crazy at the thoughts of possibly bumping into Jess in the mornings, or having to ask her to turn her music down or to lend him a cup of sugar.

  He needed to distract himself. Work. Think of work.

  ‘We have a radiologist, but she only works days. Anyone who comes in with a suspected fracture during the night has to go to the mainland. Though once a week she’s on twenty-four-hour call.’

  ‘Doesn’t that make life awkward?’

  He was used to life being awkward—in many ways.

  ‘Sometimes, but what can we do? Besides, most people here are in bed at night. You’ve got to remember you’re in a quiet backwater now, with eighty percent of the population over sixty-five and in bed by ten. This little island of ours is hardly action central.’

  ‘I’m glad to hear it. It’s what I want. A quieter way of life with less stress.’

  Okay, so maybe he wouldn’t have to tell her to turn her music down. He’d heard the yearning in her voice, the wistfulness, the true desire for a quiet life. He’d seen himself what excitement and stress and horror could bring, so he understood the yearning well enough. Well, she would certainly find what she was looking for here.

  ‘I’ll show you the rest.’

  And he led her past the X-ray department and into the primary care centre where his father occasionally worked.

  It didn’t take them long to look around the hospital. Adam pointed out the equipment rooms, the wards, sluices. He pointed out the pharmacy and the small pathology department where they ran blood tests.

  Jess seemed quite amazed at how compact and efficient the small hospital was, and how some people doubled up in their skills. But it was a place that Adam had come to love, and he hoped that she could tell how much—how proud he was to work here, to be a part of this place, the beating heart of Thorney Island. It was unique, sure. And that made it special.

  He couldn’t imagine working anywhere else now. And he couldn’t believe he’d ever wanted to leave this place, thinking it was boring and unable to hold his attention. But he’d been a young man when he’d left. Eighteen years old when he’d headed to the mainland for university and his medical degree, and the big, wide world that had beckoned.

  He’d thought he would find excitement and adventure—and he had. But he’d also found loss, pain and heartbreak. He’d lost a bit of himself that he would never get back.

  ‘Have you decided on a specialty yet?’ Adam asked.

  She shook her head. ‘No, but I’ve got plenty of time to choose.’

  She did. But in his experience most doctors had some idea of where they thought they’d end up.

  ‘But right now, if you had to choose, what would you say?’

  He was truly curious. He didn’t know much about Jess. Perhaps her choice in specialty would tell him a little more about her? Cardiology or neurosurgery would show the ultimate ambition...

  She shrugged, still smiling. ‘I don’t know...obstetrics?’

  ‘The only specialty where you end up with more patients than you started with?’

  Jess laughed. ‘You probably think I’m being silly—viewing it as something that generally has happy outcomes. But I’m a realist. I know things don’t always end that way. Obstetrics may have some of the best highs, but it has the lowest of the lows, too.’

  He stopped to look at her. ‘Have you worked in a maternity unit yet?’

  She nodded. ‘Yes. I did a two-month rotation.’

  ‘Good.’ He was glad she wasn’t viewing it through rose-tinted spectacles. Most of the maternity cases they saw on the island ended happily, but there’d been one or two that hadn’t, and he liked to think she’d be prepared for that.

  ‘You said there’s a midwife here, but do you have a dedicated obstetrician for the more complicated cases?’

  ‘No, they have to go to the mainland.’

  She smiled. ‘So perhaps my choice is a good one, then!’

  He watched her walk ahead and then caught up with her. ‘Perhaps. But you’ll get a broad spectrum of experience here. The work is so varied from one day to the next, and I kind of like that—never quite knowing what I’m going to face each day. Am I going to be in primary care? Am I going to be working in the walk-in clinic? Or am I going to be doing minor surgeries?’

  ‘That’s why I came here. Your father promised me variety.’

  ‘You’ll get it.’

  His phone beeped again with another message and he removed it from his pocket, dreading that it would be another message from his mother, perhaps suggesting he pick up some flowers for Jess, or something. But it wasn’t. It was from the nurse who answered the calls from Reception.

  Adam read the message and raised his eyebrows. ‘Looks like your wish might be coming true. We’re needed out in the community. A baby on the way! Are you up for that?’

  Jess beamed. ‘Absolutely! But doesn’t the midwife attend these cases?’

  ‘She’s on the mainland at the moment. Having a knee operation. Come on.’

  They hurried down the corridor towards a room by the main reception desk, where a bag was kept stocked for emergencies such as this. They grabbed everything they thought they would need.

  ‘Shall we take my car?’ asked Jess.

  He felt immediately uncomfortable, and let out a heavy sigh. ‘Sure.’

  He hadn’t had to go out in the community for a while, and when he did he cycled, carrying his equipment in panniers over the back wheel. He very often got to places faster than cars could. They were often held back by slow traffic, or lights, or frequent roadworks, whereas he could glide on through by using the cycle paths. But he guessed there was no escaping the drive this time.

  Somewhere, a woman was waiting for their help. And he couldn’t let his own discomfort and fear stop her from getting that.

  ‘Why don’t you get the details of where we need to go? Rachel has them. The nurse with the dark ponytail.’

  Jess gave a brief nod and hurried off to complete the task.

  Adam quickly opened the bag and gave the contents a brief scan, checking to make sure that it was fully stocked. He grabbed a few extra pairs of gloves and was putting them inside just as Jess returned with her car keys and a piece of paper with an address scribbled on it.

  ‘Grainger Lane. Number twenty-four. Do you know it?’

  He nodded. His adrenaline was pumping now. This was exactly the sort of thing he dreaded. Being trapped in a car. Being trapped in a car with Jess. But he knew she’d be excited. It was the perfect opportunity to show what she could do. And it would be interesting to watch her—see if she really was cut out for this kind of work.

  He’d birthed a few babies here on Thorney, and one or two abroad. It was generally a happy thing to do, leaving you on an endorphin high.

  Did Jess need any more endorphins? She already seemed happy enough. Upbeat, always ready with a smile and a kind word... But was there something lurking in the dark behind that happiness? Was she trying hard to mask something she didn’t want to talk about?

  He had a suspicion it was connected to the death of her father. He’d seen it in her eyes. A distant look. Something he couldn’t quite name. Yet.

  No. And I won’t. Jess Young is none of my business.

  * * *

  I’ve got plenty of time to choose.

  That was what she’d said—but that was the thing, wasn’t it? She didn’t have plenty of time. Her clock was tickin
g. Every day brought the risk that today would be the day that something would go wrong. That she would start experiencing the symptoms that would mark the beginning of her deterioration.

  Of course Adam didn’t know that, but it was something she was very much aware of. It was part of the reason her last relationship had broken up.

  She and Eddie had been so happy... They’d even started talking about having a baby!

  She remembered the dinner she and Eddie had had with her dad, when she’d told him that they were going to start trying. She’d expected her dad to be happy, to give them both a hug and wish them the best of luck. Only he hadn’t. He’d looked away, and before he’d looked away she’d seen something on his face that had looked like horror. And fear.

  She hadn’t understood it, and when he had gone home she’d snuggled into Eddie and cried, upset that her father didn’t want to share their joy. Why didn’t he want them to try for a baby? Why was the prospect so horrific to him? He wasn’t old-fashioned—wasn’t one of those people who thought you needed to be married before starting a family—and she’d known her dad certainly didn’t dislike Eddie. They’d both got along so well!

  And then... And then her dad had died. Taken his own life and left Jess the note that had shattered her world.

  A life-limiting disease. Hereditary. Huntington’s.

  Eddie had been supportive at first—her absolute rock. Telling her she was fine, but that maybe she ought to get herself tested to see if she would develop it, too. But when the result came back—yes, she did indeed carry the gene, and would suffer from Huntington’s too—Eddie had left her, also leaving a note.

  The coward couldn’t even tell me to my face!

  Alone in the world, she’d made a conscious decision that she would not let her diagnosis stop her from being who she wanted to be. She would continue to be a doctor and, although she might not ever get the chance to be an obstetrician, she would enjoy the maternity cases when they came along. That was why she’d been so pleased after talking to Jack. He’d told her that they all mucked in wherever they were needed at the cottage hospital. Primary care, minor surgery... obstetrics.